moments i spent with u are moments i treasure, sadly, its only me that treasure this times.
filled with sadness and misery, does ani1 out there actually cares?
today will be a different day, lets try living my life differently from today onwards, after enduring such heavy ordeals, i make sure i will never repeat this again.
Mar 30, 2011
i have lost this game, u win.
10:50 PMtoday marks the end of the old me, i am no longer going to be who i am, after going through so much, i have learnt much, from today onwards, i will not discriminate ani1, i will not be bothered about people who doesnt even care for me.
Mar 29, 2011
from today onwards, i shall give up entirely, u had win it all, i give up
10:55 PMu win it all, after enduring a hard time of sorrow, i am beginning to see what my friends are telling me last year. "she is just making use of you" quoted by any of my friends, i didnt believe it all first, however, maybe i think it is sort of true now. sometimes, is all the things that i did for you even comparable to some bastard that backstabbed me, all the insults that rained at me when ppl insulted you and i told them off, was it even worth it? doubt so now, maybe u were right my friends, i should have trusted u all long ago, perhaps, i was blinded by love, a pain 1 sided love. looks like although how much i had done for you, it all came to a naught. u made me wasted 1 year in vain, shouldnt i deserve the slightest appreciation for what i had done for you? somehow, you do not think i deserve so, maybe to you, i aint worthy of it, thanks a lot.
Mar 27, 2011
finding myself real stupid at times.
Mar 26, 2011
why are some people in this world just so selfish?
10:14 PMThis week passed very quickly, i seen many people getting frustrated and disappointed with their results. You reap what you sow, is this actually true. I doubt so, many of these people that are getting their results are already studying very hard, some of them even studied much more then i did. i truly feel they deserve a better grade than the grade that they are getting. well, to these people, dun give up, to these selfish people that is constantly annoying/influencing you, its perhaps time to just concentrate fully on your studies and just ignore them.
Sometimes, if i could reverse time, i am quite sure i wont repeat the same mistakes again, sometimes, its just too late to save myself from being engulfed in agony. i will find a way to balance on this thin line i am walking on. Somehow.
Mar 19, 2011
what a bright moon today, sigh.
8:38 PMseating under my chair with all the lights off, just staring at the moon. memories, good times, if only i could spent this day, under the moonlight, to tell u how much u actually meant to me, if somehow, u could ever give me this chance.
Mar 17, 2011
welcome to my life.
10:40 PMhad a real good time playing soccer with my old school frens today. Well after all, soccer is the language that we communicate in! scored near to a dozen of goals today. today seems to be a day in my secondary school, where soccer is the only thing that i am only bothered about. life's good back then. A pity, now it has taken a drastic change. Wasted one year on something that wasn't ever going to work out. Why am I so dumb, seriously, if she aint going care about me, why am i so bothered about her? just ignore her life and just carry on with my life? I just cant do that, this one sided love really hurting me real badly, if only, only, somehow you could see how much u actually mean to me,
Mar 12, 2011
dreams, if it could come true somehow.
1:17 PMjust woke up...... from my sleep. had a dream that really spark me to think what am i really going to achieve in my life. I guess i cant control fate, but well i control the actions i do for my life. Am i really going to waste my life away thinking that someday in my life you will give me a chance to proof myself to you? well, thats what i wanted to do initially, but is it even worth doing so.... chances is that my life just be wasted away. I guess I really will have to try harder to forget you, not working very well, given the amount of time i had given up for you in a year, somehow it occurred to me that perhaps these moments we spent together is only treasured by me, unfortunately. I went on to such great length to help u, aint u able to forgive me for that 1 mistake i made before? is it really that difficult for u? perhaps it is... I just want u to know that, I will be there for u, no matter how u were to treat me, even i really had given up all hope. just somehow, its just my sad life.....
Mar 10, 2011
GG for GP, hopefully a just pass in PHY and ECONS, and a B in math =(
3:15 PMstudy study study! thats like the only thing i am doing this week! erks , what a lousy way to spend the week off. well! i guess i shall just push all my problems aside and focus on my last paper tommorow.... lets just hope tomorrow paper will be an easier 1. will try to get enuf sleep for today, have been sleeping at about 1plus 2 lately. just cant seem to sleep with all these problems revolving around my head.... hai... well..... exam is gonna end soon, hopefully my results will not be so bad .......
Mar 8, 2011
just a thought....
4:32 PMI will be contented just to see that smile on your face....
Mar 7, 2011
Perhaps you do treasure our friendship
9:45 PMsometimes i really wish i could read your mind, why the change in attitude today? suddenly, u start to treat me so nicely, gimme some clues, what are u thinking.....i know its impossible for u to be my GF anymore, i just want to be good friends with you, spend my JC life with you. just give me this chance to treat u nicely till JC is over, for i am still not able to give up my love for you. looks like i am still in love with you, cant give you up yet....
Mar 6, 2011
time seem to pass so fast
12:05 PM1 week passed so quickly,.Monday seemed just like yesterday. trying hard to place everything else aside, just placing studies as my first priority. CT test is just tomorrow, i should start studying very soon. This week is perhaps the worst week in this year, everything seems not to go the way i wanted it to. Maybe its just an unlucky week, this week just taught me how selfish some people can get. Somehow, its just sucks to learnt things the hard way..... thankfully, i still have some true friends to pull me through this hard time of this year. real thankful for their help =))
Mar 2, 2011
hot and cold feeling, this got to really stop, fast.
9:54 PMToday, the day started off as a good start. felt really motivated to get top 50 for X country..... PE went on as a happy event today, really enjoyed PE lesson.... felt that finally our friendship could bond up again. Well, due to a negligible issue, u are finding trouble with me? 1 moment u treat me so nice, the next moment u come and scold me??? SERIOUSLY, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG. GO AND FUCKING FIND OUT BEFORE U COME AND FUCKING ACCUSE ME. scold me for some dumb reason, go and find out the root of the problem first, before u come and accuse me, i am so not giving a DAMN ABOUT what goes on in the class anymore, ITS NONE OF MY CONCERN already. u rather believe the class then me? ok great! so be it, if that is how much u actually trust me. thanks alot, after how much effort and time i had spent on you. this is not the first time u had ACCUSE me wrongly, if u do not settle this shit faster, seriously i will not fucking give a damn about u anymore, there is a damn limit that i can withstand, and u are pushing it, real BADLY.